Used to Be

I used to be
a person who apologized
for a lot of little things:
the shape of my belly
the color of my teeth
or the sound of my voice
 
I used to be
a person who apologized
for a lot of big things:
the size of my heart
the depth of my awareness
or my desire to share
 
I used to be
a person who made myself wrong
and each imperfection
was a dot that when all connected
created an image
I refused to love
 
I used to be
a person who said sorry
instead of please
sorry
instead of thank you
sorry
instead of can you help me?
will you?
can I come over?
do you have a second to talk?
 
sorry
used to mean
here’s my heart
I had a rough day
please love me back
say I’m ok
 
Now, sorry is a blinking neon:
Don’t go back to who you used to be!
 
Sorry is a sign I’ve forgotten what I know.
 
Now, I will only apologize for abusing myself with a word
for separating
from pure whole loved glorious elevated graceful ok
ME
sunrise
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