How to use a marriage journal

As a writer I’ve always utilized journal writing as a tool. I’ve tried a lot of different tools and methods of journaling, and each provides their own benefit. That’s why I wanted to share about a tool I use in my marriage.

My husband and I have been a couple since 1997. It’s amazing to look back at our time together and see how many phases of life we’ve experienced. Something I appreciate about our relationship is despite our personal challenges, we are both committed to not just being married, but having a conscious and ever-growing relationship.

We’ve of course had our ups and downs. This year, in fact, brought some unexpected changes. Our children are also at an age where it feels like their care is all-consuming and all of this combined had left us feeling less and less connected.

I do my best to use gratitude as a tool, so one morning I was writing down my blessings when the idea came to write down all the things I love about my husband. I’ve also seen a few relationship books mention the idea, so I’m sure the seed had already been planted in my mind. But, I was inspired by that writing session that particular morning, so I decided to run with it. I created a very simple system to keep me and my husband on the “same page.”

Take a look at this 4-minute video where I go through what’s in our marriage journal, and how we use it, It’s surprisingly simple! (P.S. – You see my real life in this video! messy-ish house, no makeup, messy hair, real life mama. But that’s what it’s all about, right?)



As promised, here is a free downloadable graphic of the 6 questions we ask each other each week. These 6 questions have created more honesty, transparency, vulnerability, and authenticity between my husband and I in just a few short months. I am also learning more about myself, and I’m learning how I can love my husband better. Sometimes even when we know someone really well, we can still learn new things about them. Plus, most people I know are always evolving so a check-in has been powerful for us.

weekly questions

Click on the image or the hyperlinks above for your FREE download.

If a weekly check-in seems like too much for you, then of course change it to suit your own relationship. This is just what works for us, and because we’ve seen success, I wanted to share it here – use it as you will.

Do you and your partner have any special tools that keep you connected? Share them in the comments and let’s all learn from each other.




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